What's your dream ?

Everyone seems to have figured it all out. They seem to know their goal and how to reach it. They have a detailed plan for their future. So why do I feel like I have nothing figured out and that I can see no future? Why do I see darkness ahead of me? Seems like am lost and confused with no one to help. Some years earlier I was one of these people who knew exactly what they wanted. I wanted to be an archaeologist (Egyptologist). Pretty weird that I ended up in pharmacy right? I was fascinated by the Egyptian civilization and wanted to discover all its secrets. I didn't care that people thought I was crazy, that this field is not what it seems like, that Egyptians don’t stand a chance as ''Zahi Hawass'',the Secretary General of the Egyptian Supreme Council of Antiquities, always takes credit for himself and leave real archaeologists unknown and unrewarded. Only foreigners especially French have a great chance in this field. But it didn't get me discouraged it made me more motivated than ever to prove them wrong. I even contacted the dean of the French department of the faculty of archaeology through email. I told her what my dream is and that I am interested in learning more about ancient Egypt. Surprisingly enough she replied! She invited me to meet her at her office in Cairo University so we can talk. I was thrilled! I thought that I reached all my dreams already and that it is only a matter of time. I went there to meet her and it was amazing we talked and she gave me a lot of books, and I met another professor at the faculty. I was only 12 years old at the time. Days and years passed as I kept visiting museums and archaeological sites like Saqqara. Then out of the blue by the time I was 16 I took a really sudden decision. I decided to go to the faculty of pharmacy instead! Until now I don’t know what really pushed me to that decision whether it was my love for sciences or that I learned that the French department in the faculty of archaeology has been closed. But I took this decision almost certain it was the right decision. After the second year in the faculty of pharmacy I found my new goal. I decided that I wanted to be a clinical pharmacist in one of the major hospitals in Egypt. Knowing that it is really a rare specialty and that it is almost impossible to reach it, made me more motivated. By reaching my 5^th year in pharmacy, things were starting to fall apart.4 years have passed so quickly and I still have no idea how I am going to be a clinical pharmacist! I feel demotivated and feel like my dream is really impossible and that I should start looking for a plan B!

So how did I change that much? From the little girl who was afraid of nothing and knew what she wanted to this confused pathetic 22 years old girl. Change from that little girl who had the guts to contact a dean and go meet her, just to pursue her dreams, to this adult who can’t get herself to contact some people in the pharmaceutical field.

A lot can happen in 10 years. People change sometimes to the better and mostly to the worst. For instance I lost my “life mentor and idol” and since then I've been confused about a lot of things starting from how my personality should be to my beliefs about society and right and wrong.

 So I realized something, if you figure out  what made you lose your way, you can still change and make the next 10 or 20 years of your life worth living! We only live once and we should make the most out of it.  We can’t let people define who we are or influence our decisions. So what if clinical pharmacy or archaeology is rare and unreliable in Egypt? Other people have made it so what makes me any less? 

What makes YOU any less than others who have realized their dreams?